Hello, I'm Cody.

Read an article about a 104 year old British woman that has the world record for paragliding and her 101 year old American rival and a comment on the article almost had me crying.

“Someone tell me how this is anything other than a disgusting display of White Privilege.”

Do you ever end a call and start singing and making weird noises only to realise you didn’t actually end the call? 

I’ll let you molest me once I’ve passed out if you fold/hang up my clothes for me.

My fortune cookie said “Don’t worry be happy”.

…

I caught a slug and let it roam around on a plate for a while before taking it back outside. Slugs are weird.

so it’s soft and rubbery and without flavour

you must not be eating the right tacos

finger thick or ruler thick?

taco thick

brains. how thick are you?

three thick

I’m thinking of changing my name to Lord Remington Bolt Action Rifle.

oh yeah

I forgot about finding a headless bird in my backyard this morning

the only thing I could think of is that my big dog killed it

but

why would it eat just the head

and 

if it didn’t eat it

where is the head